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Wednesday, December 5, 2018

Hurdle

Originally drafted 10/03/2017

I often pull up this screen, stare at it for a while, and click out.

After years of blogging and finding enjoyment in oversharing my thoughts, I have come to a mental roadblock. A few weeks turned into months, and now it's been over a year. Activities that used to spark joy in my life are now a distant memory.

Mentally, I cannot push myself to get past the hurdle. It's a constant struggle. I can't figure out the source of my issues, and I can't fix it either. I'm stuck.

Friday, January 12, 2018

The D Word


Liberty Science Center

This past year has been challenging for my mental state. I am constantly fighting back the thoughts of this feeling actually being depression. I don't want to admit it. Depression has such a negative connotation, but in the far back of my brain, I know it's true. I don't want to face it. I want to just push it away, but I can't. It keeps coming back at me, and I am faced with this ugly monster who won't go away. I have people who depend on me. I don't have time to figure out how to take care of myself. But am I really depressed? Is it something else? Am I just making excuses? Some days I can't tell. Then there are other days when I know there is something very wrong. I want to feel normal again, and I can't...