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Tuesday, March 13, 2012

A Lot On My Mind

I have taken a break from blogging and many other activities as well. I have been a bit "off" as of late, and I'm not sure how to get out of this funk. I think I am just so overwhelmed by the thoughts that are usually racing in my head. I can't even concentrate on one thought for more than a minute before something else comes up.

My life seems very simple. Take care of child, husband, and home. While it sounds easy, it's not. The daily everyday tasks are so much harder to do with an active child added to the mix. My "job" never ends, and I feel so unaccomplished by the end of the day because there is always so much more that needs to be done. Sigh.

Hamming It Up!
his adorable squinty eye smiles helps me get through those long days

I spend a lot of time thinking about my past. I don't know why. I just do  My husband only remembers the good things in life and never dwells upon the bad. I remember it all. I think about the bad decisions I have made in my life and wish I could have done things differently. I also think about the good happy memories of times spent with my husband. I think about those memories and long for the carefree nature of our relationship to return. Then reality sets back in, and I think about how impossible that is now with a child.

Driving Adventure
one of our spur of the moment adventures to HMart with the top down in the Miata last February

I spend a lot of time thinking about the future too. My little kiddo is growing up, and every little new development brings him one step closer to being a toddler. He is always changing, and we are always adapting to new routines. How will our family be different 6 months from now? Then I think of where we will be a year from now. What about 5 years from now? Will I still be a SAHM? Will we have more kids? So many questions. The future kind of scares me because it is the unknown. Do I have control of my future? Do I know where I'm headed?

Family Picture
what will our family photo look like next year?

I think a lot. That would explain the name of this blog...


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