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Thursday, October 20, 2011

Pump It, Pump It Good

Entry originally written on Wednesday, August 31st...

How am I still pumping?  I must be crazy...

Maybe pumping is a challenge that I take too seriously.  Through trial and error, I have perfected the art of pumping that works for my family.  It is something that I'm very proud of, but it's not exactly something that I get a lot of credit for doing.  I don't need people to pat me on the back and cheer me on (or do I?), but I would appreciate it if they could understand that it's no easy task.  Not only do I have to take care of my baby's needs, I have to spend 20 minutes at the pump every 2 hours.  It's definitely not easy.

My original goal was to pump and provide Baby E with breast milk for 3 months.  At the time I was 6 weeks postpartum when I made that goal.  I thought it was a foolish and impossible thing to do.  Haha.  Well it's not impossible, and I have surpassed my original goal.  I would like to think that 6 months is my next goal, but I try not to think a certain number.  I just take it one day at a time.

I consider myself extremely lucky to be an exclusive pumper who has been able to provide my baby with 100% breast milk for the last 3.5 months.  I also have a nice freezer stash, which often surprises people.  Isn't it crazy how modern technology has allowed a mother like me to provide breast milk to my son without him ever going directly to my boob?  I am lucky.

I still face ongoing battles.  Having mastitis was a total nightmare.  Frequent clogged ducts are a bummer.  Many lost hours of sleep every single night add up and make for a very tired Yin.  My schedule revolves around pumping, and I have been tied to the pump for the last 155+ days.  I don't know when the end will come.  This has become part of my life, and it's hard to find the right time to let go.

Honestly I thought I would give up by now.  3 months is good enough.  Why do I have to go longer?  Maybe because I'm physically capable of doing so.  Maybe because it is one of the biggest challenges I have come to face, and I don't want to see myself give up just yet.  Maybe I fear how Baby E's life will change once formula enters his body again.  Will he have an upset stomach?  Will he miss the taste of breast milk?

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Happy 1/2 Birthday!