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Sunday, August 14, 2011

Being a Mother...

Posing for a picture with Baby E at his first Newark Nite

It's 6:30 AM, and I have only had 2 hours of sleep.  I am a mother.

After picking up Baby E from Uncle Anthony & Aunt Melissa's house, we came home around midnight.  I immediately went upstairs to pump for 30 minutes.  I then stayed up another 2 hours to pump again, afraid that I would wait too long between pump sessions.  I fell asleep for 2 hours and woke up again to pump.  I pump to provide my son with food.  I am a mother, his mother.

While cleaning my pump parts and preparing bottles, I hear Baby E cry.  It is time for his feeding, and I cannot go back to bed.  I feed him.  I change him.  He is not very happy with me.  Maybe it's because he is still sleeping and doesn't understand what's going on.  Poor little guy.  H comes over to calm him down.  He is now awake and ready to finish eating.  My heart melts just looking at him.  I am a mother, his mother.

I went outside in the rain to spray down his dirty diaper.  I touch poo more than the average person, and I don't mind it.  I wash diapers on a daily basis, and I feel good knowing that his bum is healthy.  I am a mother, his mother.

Now I can't go back to sleep.  I am hungry, so hungry.  Even though I can't say that I breastfeed, I do exclusively pump.  I burn calories just like those mothers who actually breastfeed.  I didn't eat nearly enough yesterday.  It wasn't by choice.  It was by circumstance.  Did you know that I need an extra 500 calories a day?  While pregnant, I only needed an extra 300 a day.  I actually eat more now than I ever did when I was pregnant.  I have quite the appetite.  The kind of appetite that is keeping me from sleeping.  I am a mother.

My job is to be the best mother possible to Baby E.  My work hours are not limited to the weekday from 9:00 AM - 5:00 PM.  I work around the clock, often lacking much needed sleep.  That's okay because I am his mother.


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