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Saturday, July 9, 2011

My Baby & My In-Laws

My wedding was far from what I had envisioned for the big day, and my in-laws had a lot to do with that.  They were opinionated and had the final say on all the major decisions.  Because of this I was afraid of what the future would be like once H and I started a family.  It was the hot topic of discussion, mainly stemming from my fear of the in-laws taking over.  Would they be super involved in my child's life?  Would they teach my child Vietnamese?  Would they have a say in how H and I would raise our family?  I was on the verge of being paranoid of the future.  I knew the ugly side of my in-laws from wedding planning, and I wanted nothing to do with that when it came to our family.

My mother in-law was very particular as to when H and I would start having kids. She insisted that we start soon after the wedding because having a baby in 2011 would be good luck for us.  I thought she was nuts, and I was going to do everything possible to spite her (I do that often) and hold off on starting a family.  As you know, that did not go according to plan.

my in-laws visiting Baby E at the hospital

So Baby E is here, and we have our own little family.  How involved are H's parents? Well I shouldn't have been so worried after all because it is the complete opposite of what I had imagined.  They really do take a hands off approach and have only visited Baby E at home once when we came home from the hospital.  Doesn't that seem odd? They have seen him since then, but we are the ones who have to bring Baby E to them. Why?  The excuse is that they work all the time and don't have time to visit. Pshhh. Excuses.

I should be happy that they are leaving us alone and not have to worry about them being overly involved.  Of course that is not the case.  I'm actually pretty upset that they won't make the effort to visit their grandson.  I'm also upset that H and I have to bring Baby E to them.  Do they not understand how much work and time it takes to get out of the house with a baby?  They are missing out on so much, and it's really a shame.  Baby E is growing day by day, and they can't see any of that.  Each time we visit them, Baby E is asleep.  There is no interaction.  Then my mother in-law decides that it's perfectly fine to wake up the baby just so that she can hold him.  Ughh.

the super adorable Baby E that my in-laws are missing out on

While I don't want our parents to be overly involved, I do want them to be present.  I want my son to have a good, healthy relationship with both sets of his grandparents.  I never had a chance to spend much time with my own grandparents, and I want him to have the opportunity that I missed out on.  Is that too much to ask for?  By the way, Baby E is the first grandson for both my parents and my in-laws.

My parents love to visit Baby E.  The frequency of their visits can be a bit annoying at times, but I like knowing that they are proud grandparents.  They love to see Baby E grow and admire his super awesome features.  I think they are quite excited to see him grow into a big kid and be able to take him places.  I also think they are hoping that he learns Cantonese.  I'm not so sure H is on board with that, but secretly, I would like Baby E to learn too.  Shhh...

my parents holding Baby E for the first time

So basically my in-laws are MIA, and their lack of involvement is bugging me.  It bothers me so much that I bring it up almost every single day.  I can't wrap my head around why they don't want to come over to visit their grandson.  My friends have come to visit Baby E at home more often than my in-laws.  It makes no freaking sense.  Arghh!


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