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Saturday, April 2, 2011

Being a Housewife/Stay at Home Mom: Part II

Let's revisit the topic of being a housewife/stay at home mom.  I mentioned last time that I didn't have much adult approval on my decision to stay at home, but I didn't get into specifics.  Here it goes... I feel most of the negativity from H's family.  There I said it.

A few weeks ago (or was a month or two), my MIL asked me about my plans to go back to work after the baby is born.  She offered to take care of the baby for the first three months while I go back to work.  I did my usual head nod and didn't say much.  H didn't recall the conversation, which probably meant that it was a one on one conversation between my MIL and me.  I was truly befuddled.  I have been at home for the last 7 months, and she expects me to go back to work as soon as the baby is born.  Now that doesn't make much sense.

She brought up the topic once again.  This time it was in Vietnamese, and the conversation was directed at H.  He told her that I plan on staying with the little Ninja at home, and it is uncertain when I would be returning back to join the working society.  It was a fairly simple conversation.  Now I wonder why it is such a concern in the first place.

From the beginning of my pregnancy, my parents have been a supporter of me staying at home.  They encouraged me to leave my job and stay home during the pregnancy and beyond.  It's quite amazing actually.  I don't expect that kind of advice coming from my parents.  My dad says that with the first child, it is especially important to be at home.  Okay, I'll take it!

I don't feel the same kind of support from my in-laws.  Maybe they're concerned about us financially.  How could we possibly take care of a baby and stay afloat with one income?  If that is their concern, then I would love for them to bring it up instead of me having to assume.  Instead I see disapproval of our decision.  Boo.

Then I spoke with the amazing Linda, my former boss at UD.  I met up with her for lunch a few weeks ago, and she is really glad that I'll be staying home with the little Ninja.  She was a stay at home mother herself and didn't go back in the workforce until her children were in high school and college.  Linda told me that there is this prized moment when your kid comes home from school, and all he/she wants to do is to tell you about his/her day.  That melted my heart.

H talked with someone at work and mentioned that we have a baby on the way.  The man had no idea what our plans were for childcare, but he made sure to tell H that he was so glad that his wife stayed at home with the kids.  I think that sealed the deal for H, and he is so glad that I can be home with our baby.  He wouldn't want to have it any other way.

I have nothing against those who bring their children to daycare, and someday my child may be in a daycare facility.  H and I don't know how long I will stay at home. We don't know when I would go back to work or what career path I would take.  I only know that I want to stay home with Ninja for at least a year.  If finances get tight, then I have no choice but to go back in the workforce.  Oddly enough, I think most of my income would go directly to childcare with very little extra money to help with the family income.  So going back to work isn't a priority now.  Things will change as time comes.

While I may not have as much support for being a stay at home mother, all I need are a few supporters.  My husband, parents, and Linda (she's like a second mother to me) support me.  That's all I need.

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