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Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Defeated -- Bad Day at DCMFM

I went to my appointment at the Delaware Center for Maternal and Fetal Medicine this morning. Did I have to spell it out? Probably not. I'm just not very happy with them. It's been a month since my last ultrasound, and I'm supposed to go every 4 weeks. They scheduled me for today at 8:00AM. I jot it down on my calendar. Well I came in for the woman to tell me that I'm not on the schedule for today. Eh?? When I made the appointment, the computer system was slow. I'm assuming that they never correctly scheduled me but gave me a date and time anyways. Strike one. They still honored my appointment, but it was a rocky start.

Next the technician rushed through my ultrasound, which I didn't care so much. The technician who usually does it for me wasn't there, and I guess I'm just used to her ways. As long as everything is accounted for and the measurements are correct, then I'm a happy camper. She kept saying that my ultrasound results were good. I'm led to believe that Ninja is growing at a good rate and healthy.

Doctor comes in, and she automatically tells me that she would like to prescribe me with a low dose of medication due to a few high scores I had this past week. I ask to see if I can wait a few more days to improve my scores, and she sounds upset. Maybe because I'm going against the doctor's order? She said it's normal for women to have higher scores further along in their pregnancy because hormones are increasing even more so. Then she said that I don't have to listen to her, but I will have to come in next week for another appointment. Ugh. She leaves the room, and tells another person that I am not going to take the medication. She sounds frustrated. Umm... I can hear you. The only thing separating you from me is a piece of cloth in the form of a curtain. Speak a little louder.

Shall I elaborate on my scores? Okay well she picked out a total of 5 scores in the last week (out of 28 readings). 3 of those scores are my fasting scores, which I test for in the mornings, about 8 - 10 hours from my last meal. I have to stay below 90 (or is it 90 and below?). 3 of those mornings I had scores of 90, 95, and 93. I've done my own research prior, and I know that some doctors recommend scores of below 100 and not to have too many in the mid 90s. Those higher scores didn't worry me, especially with normal readings for the remainder of the day. Then there are the remaining 2 readings, which occurred after meals. I know exactly why it was so high, and it was my own fault for testing my limits. I'm pregnant after all, and I want to splurge. I want to eat out at a nicer restaurant because I won't be able to once the Ninja is born.

So I'm certain that I can control my numbers. I know that most of it has to do with my diet, and I just need to stop trying to test my limits. I'll just eat my protein and vegetables. I won't eat any snacks, even though they really don't affect my after meal scores. I'll stop cheating with my after dinner dessert, even though I have found no correlation with the morning fasting result. All I'm asking is to have a few more days to test out my numbers. If I consistently have results that I'm scared of, then yes, I will listen to the doctor. I just didn't find that to be the case today. *sigh*

What did I do as soon as I left the hospital? I cried. I cried even after H left to go to work. I was a big mess. I don't think I was being stubborn, and I only asked for a chance to give it a few more days. As a mother, I don't want to expose my baby to any medication unless absolutely necessary. As a somewhat intelligent woman, I wanted to see a stronger pattern of high glucose results, and I didn't see it from this past week. I don't understand how a doctor can just throw out the other 23 perfectly normal scores from the week and just focus on 5 scores.

Why didn't the doctor mention anything about the results from the ultrasound? Is the baby growing at a good rate and healthy? As a technician, they can only tell you so much because it's the doctor who is supposed to be the true expert.

What does this mean for me? I have to start going to the office every week, and they will monitor the baby and me for about 20 minutes I believe. It sucks. I honestly thought I could have this all under control. I only wanted to come in to see Ninja on the ultrasound screen. I can't do anything now.

Correction. I can be more careful with my diet and keep my scores low. I'll prove her wrong.

As a side note, Ninja weighs approximately 4lbs and 12oz. Last month he weighed approximately 3lbs. In that same period of time I have lost 2lbs with no additional weight gain in the last 2-3 weeks. My obstetrician shows no concern and says that it is normal for someone with gestational diabetes to lose a few pounds and not gain any for the remainder of the pregnancy. My total weight gain is only 17lbs.

Sorry for the long rant. I'm upset at how horrible this day is turning out. I usually experience nice weather on my doctor appointment days, but today is not the case. I live for sun therapy, which works better than retail therapy. I tried the retail therapy today, and I was not successful.

This will all be over soon. I have to remember that.

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