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Sunday, April 11, 2010

I'm No Longer Afraid.. to Cut the Grass

Yesterday I biked over to my parent's house to cut the grass. It's never a fun thing to do, especially on such a busy road. While cutting the grass, I realized something. I'm no longer afraid. Okay let me back up just a bit here.

When I was a kid, it was difficult growing up in a restaurant. I hated living on such a busy road, and avoided doing a lot of chores because of it. Every Sunday I had to vacuum the restaurant, and every Sunday I dreaded it. I was always afraid of cars passing by and seeing me from the street. Crazy, right? Yeah it sounds crazy now that I think about it. There's only one big window and the entrance door that would make me visible to the public, but I still feared being seen. I was embarrassed. It doesn't make much sense now that I think about it. All of my classmates knew where I lived and what my parents did for a living. It was no big surprise, and yet I wanted to hide.

Cutting the grass and shoveling the snow both involve being seen quite visibly outdoor. It wouldn't bother me so much if people would just keep driving and mind their own business, but it doesn't work that way. I've had people scream out their windows, and I've had others who look at me like I'm the main attraction being displayed for all to see. =/

Yesterday I didn't care. I just cut the grass and tuned out the busy street. Sure, I still noticed the cars and people, but they didn't bother me. I'm not exactly sure why the fear was lifted, but I'm glad it was. Maybe this is how it feels to be grown up. The worries of the past are just part of the past. I have to decide whether or not I want to keep them with me, and this is one of the ones I would rather leave behind.

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