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Saturday, January 30, 2010

Challenges & Wedding Talk

Today's challenges:
  • making yummy chicken noodle soup -- easy peasy
  • more wedding planning (photographer, dress, and finding vendors)
  • cleaning my extremely messy room & getting organized
  • going to parent's house to settle airplane ticket business (& eat some yummy grub)
  • going to H's aunt house for dinner
  • taking more photographs b/c my camera has been hibernating for too long
Thoughts about said challenges...

Planning a wedding is gosh darn stressful, especially when most of the time is spent wondering if the wedding is actually feasible. With H being laid off and a mortgage to pay for, it didn't make much financial sense to go forward. So I did what a normal person would do.. I waited. Well waiting takes time away from something very valuable called time (obviously). Somehow I was convinced that the wedding had to go on. We would just figure it out along the way. Since time is no longer on my side (6.5 months remaining..ahhh), I have to be focused. Unfortunately fear and panic take over, and it's not so easy to repeat to myself, "Stay calm."

I have to be strong. I can't let the stress take over forever, or else there will be no wedding. I'm going to attempt to take on a "can do" attitude, but I do need the help of H and many others to get through this process. I have to not be afraid to ask for help.

So there you have it. One stressed out Yin will strive to be stronger than ever and plan this gosh darn wedding. It'll somehow be awesome too (I hope). You'll see.

Oh yeah and the camera is going to be a bigger part of my life. It usually stays hidden because I'm too lazy to pull it out. That shall be a thing of the past. More pictures to come!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

My Thoughts

Let's back track to what this blog is all about. Yin thinks. It's about me. It's about my thoughts. Earlier today I was thinking about my blog, and there's a lack of direction. My thoughts are rare to find. It's mainly an occasional update of my life and a few pictures. Why can't I seem to write about the thoughts that first jump started this blog?

I fear what other people think and how they judge me through this blog. I refrain from letting my thoughts flow. I crawl back into my hole when a hurtful comment is made. I know people can be judgmental, myself included. I just can't keep my thoughts on track without censoring or pressing the delete button all together. Sigh.

I have to snap out of it. I'm an adult. I am clinging onto fears that have stayed with me since childhood. It's not healthy, and I am going to make the first step in admitting it. It's time for me to take a break from over thinking about what other people think and focus on my own thoughts.

This is my blog. These are my thoughts.

Here is one of my fears --- knowing that someone will use my thoughts against me. I don't come from the healthiest of families. My sisters have turned on me before, and my blog fell victim. This happened 2.5 years ago. It's hard to forget and forgive. I still worry about them finding my blog again. It causes unnecessary drama, and I really could use less of that in my life.

I'll take this as my small baby step towards making this blog more "me." I am going to face my fears head on. If I keep worrying and fearing for the worst, then it'll happen. I need to stay focused on being me and not letting other factors get in the way.

Pretty much, this blog will be more thoughts (which can also be interpreted as rants) and less filler. Be prepared!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

I'm a Worm

If you haven't noticed, I do most of my posting on the weekends. That seems to be the only "Me" time that I can allot for myself specifically to be on the computer. 6 months ago "Me" time lasted until 4:30 PM every single weekday. Now it barely exists. Sigh.

It's been a week since I made my goal to make time for myself (is this all I ever talk about?). How has it been working out so far? Well I'm officially full time at work with my 40 hour work week. That means I sleep early every night. I'm not sure why, but my body tends to know when it wants to sleep to ensure a peaceful 8 hour sleep. I also have an extra hour to myself in the mornings between the time I drop Hubby off at work and wait for my own work to begin. While I always had that extra buffer time, I usually spent it taking a nap. Now I do more productive things like read and jot down my thoughts in my notebook.

After work has been the normal schedule. Come home, cook a meal (Hubby has been a super cooker lately), wash the dishes, clean up the kitchen, and relax in the living room. I've been slacking in my other duties such as sweeping, laundry, and misc. other house stuffs. What have I been doing instead? Reading. Yup, Yin is turning back into a book worm. I borrowed this book from the library...

source: simonandschuster.com
American Chinatown by Bonnie Tsui

and I just finished reading this one not too long ago...

source: adelineyehmah.com
Falling Leaves by Adeline Yen Mah

Do these books make me into a crazy Asian American? Probably. I tend to drift towards American History and Asian American literature when it comes to book selections. Both books are highly recommended. Too bad I can't think or anyone who actually enjoys this kind of reading. Since I'll probably finish American Chinatown today, I'm thinking about going back to the library and borrowing this book...

source: fortunecookiechronicles.com
The Fortune Cookie Chronicles by Jennifer Lee

In conclusion (I sound like an essay being written by a young teenager), I have found more time for myself. I'm not exactly crafting, blogging, editing photos, or even planning my wedding, but I've found something new. It's a nice change of pace. Thanks, Reading Rainbow for being the first to bring out the worm in me (haha.. that sounds weird).

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Schedule

My daily schedule looks like this...

6:30 AM - Wake up, shower, get ready for work
8:00 AM - Drop Hubs at work
9:00 AM - Start working
1:00 PM - Lunch
5:30 PM - Finish work & head home
6:10 PM - Home
7:00 PM - Dinner

The rest of the evening usually consists of a mix of the following:
washing dishes
doing laundry
sweeping the floor
watching a movie borrowed from the library
cleaning the house some more

cleaning the kitchen when we first moved in
doesn't look too different from my normal weekly routine


Then I go to bed, and I wake up to the same schedule all over again. I look forward to the weekend, but somehow the weekend always turns out different than I intend. Well let's just say that my perfect weekend would consist of staying at home all day and catching up on life. I want to be able to make a recipe from my cookbooks, blog a little, edit some photos, work in my craft room, gather inspiration to start wedding planning, etc.

Since the year is still new, I'm going to make a pretty nifty resolution and try to stick to it. I'm going to make time for myself. Sounds easy, right? Well I sure hope so. I've been trying to do that since we first moved in, and it hasn't worked out so well. Stuff happens. There's always something to do. It's hard to find time and take a break (not counting snoozing).

Monday, January 4, 2010

Me: As Seen in Hubby's Lenses, Part II

I'm searching for adventure.

I enjoy opening mail, especially from famous bloggers. =)

I like to take apart 3D glasses and make them my own.

I'm also a blogger, but you already knew that.

I occasionally wear makeup, and my mirror image doesn't look very familiar.

I squeeze lime in my Coronas. I also like to eat hot dogs fresh off the grill. Yum!

Some days I look different from other days. I don't know why.

I spend a few hours in front of the television flipping through channels every now and then.

I'm an average girl during the day, and I'm a drifter by night. Hehe.

I like to sit on glass floors in the CN Tower.

I'm a huge fan of playing kid games at the arcade. I dominate. Muahaha.

I love pumpkin ice cream. I also have veins popping out of my neck. It makes me special. =)

Sushi, anyone? *drooooools*

I love to eat. Ippudo. Yum. Best Ramen Ever.

Farewell 2009. Capturing most of the year in photographs really does bring back a lot of memories. I'm looking forward to the new adventures 2010 will bring. I'm ready. =D

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Me: As Seen in Hubby's Lenses, Part I

Goodbye 2009. Welcome 2010. Let's go back in time and see how much I've changed in the past year through Hubby's lenses...

I like to scrunch up my face & look silly.

I brush my teeth to keep the scary germs away.

Hats may look silly, but they sure do keep me warm.

I tend to gravitate towards odd shapes and then proceed to sit in them.

To make sure I stay Asian, I occasionally bring out the peace signs to pay homage to my Asian peeps.

I love snow. I love posing in the snow. =)

I am a photographer, a very amateur one who is better at correcting photos than taking them.

I like to play dress up in vintage wedding dresses.

I am a crafter. I also tend to make the room messy while I craft.

Jumping in the air is fun. Try it some time.

I like to shop for crafting tools & materials.

I love ice cream, and I love to eat it. Yumm!

Screaming at parking meters is a talent of mine. They eat up my quarters and spit out very little time.

I love finding good deals and then wearing them. Dress $30 from Urban Outfitters. Shoes $15 from Nordstrom (online).

Eating is quite difficult with a photographer capturing every bite.

Be safe kids and wear a helmet. If you don't, then your face may end up looking like this. Glasses do act as a good buffer though, except they will break upon impact.

I am incapable of looking good with wind blowing in my face.

I like to pose in front of stores from across the street, especially the famous Paper Source.

SPF 70. Yes, I am awesome!

I like to pack 4 months in advance. It keeps me organized and anxious for impending departure.

I learned a lesson and bought a helmet. I look pretty snazzy.