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Saturday, August 29, 2009

Learning to Keep My Opinions to Myself

Cliff Note version of my family...
  • 2 parents (age 78 & 60), 4 sisters (36, 34, 32, 14)
  • parents: strict, traditional, asian
  • sisters: twinkies, annoying, at least a 9 year age difference (both ways)
  • my relationship with parents: not great, got worse (bad enough that I "ran" away from home and moved out), now better
  • my relationship with sisters: older ones hated me, younger one liked me (I practically raised her as my own), now no one really likes me anymore.. I don't have a relationship with any of them

I fit into the category of the messed up family. Nothing quite functions properly, and we don't get along all too well. Having 5 girls under one roof (more like 3-4 at a time) created drama left and right. I was born and bred into this world of drama, tattling, and gossiping. Usually I was the victim of all bad things said. Sometimes I would be part of the drama, the fighting, and all ugly stuff. It was far from glamorous.

I think that my experience with my sisters has created me to be more opinionated, and I probably create drama because I'm bred to do so. It's not a great trait to carry with me, and sometimes I just can't help it.

Then there's Hubby's family. Less drama (way less). More family get togethers. People just get along with one another. It's pretty much the complete opposite of my immediate family. Even when stuff happens, the degree of severeness is dropped down about 10 notches. While everyone stays calm, I find myself creating drama in my own little world. Hubby tells me to stop it. It's just not worth talking about. I can't help but to think about it.

So you know how life isn't always fair, right? Growing up with 4 sisters meant that I was constantly comparing my life to theirs. Someone always got the short end of the stick. I always thought it was me. My sisters always thought it was them. When someone gets away with something, there is sure to be one sister to point it out to my parents.

Here I am finding myself in the same position, except it's not my sisters anymore. Therefore, I don't need to create any drama, right? Okay I try not to. I just can't restrain myself from having opinions and voicing them at any given time. I'm thinking that's a bad thing. I need to learn how to step away and let things be. Most of the time (probably 90%) it doesn't have any effect on me whatsoever. Better reason to just let it go? Yeah.

Goal: Learn to keep my opinions to myself...

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