Recent Posts

Friday, August 7, 2009

Having a Bad Day

There are some good days, and then there are some bad days in life. I had a bad day yesterday. It was supposed to be a good one too. I hate it when life kicks me in the butt. I'll try to get rid of the "kick me" sign on my back.. now I just need to reach it. Let me explain what happened.

This story goes back to earlier this week when Hubby's aunt told him that there was a position available at her company. It's similar work to his first real job, which wasn't all that great. Hours are horrible. Pay is decent but not that great. It's a very dull job. My first reaction was no. I did not want to subject myself to that process. I don't want to feel miserable at a job that I hate. As much as I hate to say it, I'm better than that.

Okay let me step back a bit. When I was looking for jobs I was open to everything and anything, even if it didn't involve my business degree. I applied for positions that I was over qualified for, and by over qualified, I mean way over qualified. I still submitted my resume and went to the interviews. I got rejected. Those rejections hurt just as much as the rejections to the jobs I desperately wanted. Maybe they hurt more. I felt like I went to college for 4 years for no reason.

Back to the story... I think the biggest problem about this situation is that I know that I will be rejected. Why wouldn't I be? This is not the first position that I have been referred to by a family member or friend. Sometimes they say it's not what you know but who you know. Well I know people, and I still couldn't get through the door. I'm tired of rejection, and I think rejection from this job would be worse than the others. It would mean that I'm a failure in the eyes of those who care about me. *cues tears* I'm just not ready for that kind of rejection and failure.

Now fast forward to yesterday. Hubby's dad asked if I had handed my resume to Bac Trang. I said no. I left everything up to Hubby because I didn't want to be apart of it. Then I just felt bad. I knew there was now no way to avoid it. I couldn't upset his dad. Hubby had everything ready to give to his aunt without my help. I guess that's where the second problem lies. He printed it on regular white printer paper. He messed with the format of both my cover letter and resume, omitting critical components of both documents. While his intentions were good, I was furious. I took it as a blow to the face. He didn't think that my original content and format was good enough. These are the same documents that we approved by my English professor and a professional who specialized in resumes. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I do know that my cover letter and resume are solid. I know the exact format of both, and I took a class on professional business writing. It hurt.

That pretty much killed the evening. It was a bad day that was only going to get worse. I felt like I had no control of improving the day. I was already kicked in the butt, and how many more times would I have to fall before I just lose it? It was one of the worse days I've experienced in quite some time. I was upset, mad, frustrated, and sad. I wanted to feel better, but I could not control my feelings. I felt like I was slipping into a depressive state. I will not deny that I am "depressed." Fortunately, I am able to put some of my troubles aside and focus my energy on the better things in life. I fall into my depressive states only when I have to face my problems. Sigh.

It didn't get much better today. Since I do not want to get in trouble with Hubby's dad, I went ahead and created a cover letter and resume for the unspecified position to make everyone happy. I sent it to Hubby to review and print. He pretty much nit picked the whole thing, down to the tiniest details. Most of my resume details were actually perfected by Hubby himself over a year ago, and he went back to fix something that was not broken in the first place. It was frustrating. I felt attacked and finally defeated.

I wish that my anger, frustration, and sadness will subside. I don't want to focus on my problems. I just want to go on with normal programming. Is that too much to ask for?


Post a Comment